A friend I had not heard from for a while emailed me a few days ago reflecting on his and my journey of House Church and asking how I now view House Church and Simple Church etc. I have thought about this and jotted down a few reflections down below as I realise that I am a radically different person to the one who started on that journey four or five years ago.
1. We stopped doing normal Church over four years ago because we were convinced that Church as we knew it was not going to bring the change to our society that we wanted. The slogan "ITS NOT WHAT WE BELIEVE, ITS HOW WE BELIEVE" really summed up this step. We were convinced that church was far too complicated and it needed to be simpler. So we started doing Simple Church / House church, and for a year or so it was incredible and fantastic in ways too numerous to mention here.
2. While everything was going great guns I was starting to think through and wrestle with what I never had before and that was with "WHAT I BELIEVED". This created difficulty with doing House Church / Simple Church, because no one else was in that place around me. For the first time I was reading more widely then the usual staple of church growth books I had usually read. I began to read more Church History and Theology. I read more about science and natural history. I started observing what was called 'Emergent Church' and its interest in more liturgical patterns etc. Being honest I started doubting what I believed or assumed (what I call the evangelical faith box). But I found it difficult to talk about it with others, to wrestle these things through and talk about them in a safe way. People would either get angry, call me a heretic or start quoting the Bible to motivate me to get back in the box. So even though we were still doing House Church I guess in my head and heart I was already beginning to disconnect because what I really wanted was a place or people I could wrestle these things through with. For a while I thought we should carry on just going for it in regards to HC and I would get a Spiritual director to talk these things through but I lacked the cash for that sort of thing!
3. So for a year or so we have done nothing but drift not really doing House Church / Simple Church but just sporadically doing stuff with friends and family etc. We didn't want to do church again but we also didn't want to kick off another House Church because of my Spiritual journey. I guess this became one of the large motivating factors to move out of Auckland. We felt that staying in a place of spiritual nothingness neither here nor there was not a good place to stay for too long and we felt the best way to make a change and get back in the flow of faith was to begin again with a totally fresh canvas in a fresh city.
4. So here we are in Christchurch at the end of 2008. I'm still on a journey of faith. I love the simplicity of breaking bread, sharing life and prayer with other believers. At the same time my faith has now considerably changed. I love the Bible, but as Southern Baptist President Carter said about it once "There's no doubt in my mind that the Bible was written by, almost exclusively, men, who were limited in their knowledge of science." Today's biblical literalist's, he said, "might believe that the universe was created in 4004 BC. I don't believe that." Basically that sums me up to. I also love the church but not in the 'local church' way I used to. I have discovered and am loving the more reflective form of liturgical worship and am becoming more open to the idea that tradition is actually far more important in faith then I ever realised. Yes believe it or not we are becoming part of an Anglican Parish! Who would believe it! Does this mean I am no longer Churchless Christian but Nearly Confirmed Anglican?